Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The cheetah story, by Shannon

Once upon a time a man named Chee Ko Tah lived in a small village called Oka-tralia. He was a medium built man who always said this to his tribe " I Chee Ko Tah am the greatest and the strongest of all creatures, and I will destroy anything that says otherwise!" After hearing this speech day in, day out, his people and family believed him, but once word got out to the elders they were outraged. This is because no-one should speak as if they are greater than the elders. So with that, the elders purposed a test for Chee Ko Tah to see if he really was the man he thought he was.

One day in the hot plains of Africa, Chee Ko Tah was bragging as ussual to his family when a huge elephant came charging at him and only him. Chee Ko Tah sprinted off as fast as possible, and hid in a far away cave. He heard all the laughter that broke out within his own family and friends and they chants, " Chee Ko Tah the coward! Chee Ko Tah the coward!" He decided not to go back to his home again.

Years later Chee Ko Tah returned hom, but had morphed because of his unhealthy living situation in the cave. He now had blonde fur, spots, a cat like face, walked on all fours, and had grown a tail. The people and the elders were terrified. Chee Ko Tah saw drawings on the huts of what the elders had done to him, and he was furious. One of the elders looked dead straight into Chee Ko Tah's brown piercing eyes, and Chee Ko Tah smiled with his sharp devil-like teeth and sprinted at the elder. He was so fast that he caught up to the elder who was about 100 metres away in 4 seconds. Chee Ko Tah decided he had a new name which was Cheetah, because the Ko had been significant to his tribe. He chased down and killed everyone in his tribe and lived happily with all the food and plains he could dream of.


  1. Hi Shannon,
    I was really impressed with this story, and the speed you wrote it was not unlike a Cheetah!
    I wish I could have added your illustrations in too. Next time you could work on adding some more dialogue to your story, so the charaters interact more.
    Awesome work!

  2. Wow Shannon, I like the name Chee Ko Tah. I also like the name Oketralia. You blew me away with your writing. How cool would it be to hide in a cave?
    From Oli at Grey Lynn School.

  3. Hey Shannon, David here. Good animal origin story. Heh, Chee Ko Tah. I still wonder how he could morph into a beast only by living in a cave.

    I agree that you could use some more dialogue and interaction in your story. Aside from that, superb.

  4. is it the cheetah girls??? im sure i saw it on tv2. anyway, it was an awesome story and keep the good work up.=)
    from kirsteen x

  5. i like youre story that was owesome